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Top 12 Physics Jokes

By: , Posted on: August 15, 2014

plancking imagePhysics is a serious subject but sometimes we need a little light relief, take a look at our top 12 physics jokes and as an added bonus we are offering up to 30% off all physics books, use discount code STC314 on the Elsevier store.


1) What is the name of the first electricity detective?

  • Answer: Sherlock Ohms


2) A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”


3) Where does bad light end up?

  • Answer: In a prism.


4) A Higgs Boson walks into a Church. The priest says, “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here. The particle responds by saying: “But without me, how can you have Mass?”


5) How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?

  • Answer: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.


6) Why can’t you trust an atom?

  • Answer: They make up everything.


7) What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

  • Answer: SWAG


8) A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, “Can I help you with your luggage?” The photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light!”


9) An electron and a positron go into a bar.

  • Positron: “You’re round.”
  • Electron: “Are you sure?”
  • Positron: “I’m positive.”


10) Why did Erwin Schrödinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages?

  • Answer: Because they were quantum mechanics.


11) What is a physicist’s favourite food?

  • Answer: Fission chips


12) What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?

  • Answer: “Gotta split!”


Didn’t understand the jokes? Not to worry, brush up on your physics with Elsevier’s Physics and Astronomy books! Get up to 30% off using discount code STC314


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